On Being Betrothed

Welcome to another installment of what Whitney and I are calling ‘collective blogging.’ To refresh everyone’s memory, we will both be writing blog entries on the same topic as an exercise to see how different our thought processes and memories are. Hopefully it will be good practice for an idea we have for NaNoWriMo 2009 – to write the same novel, but separately.

Today’s Topic: Thoughts and Memories on the First Week of Being Engaged

A major milestone was reached for me since I last posted on my blog.  I am now engaged!  Since Whitney and I can now say we both have experienced the first week of betrothal, we decided to make that the topic of this collective blog post.

You know how in school, when you’re writing those God-awful essays for college entrance or scholarship contests, they like to ask you to pick one word to describe yourself or an experience and then explain why you chose that word?  Well, the only word I can think of to sum up the experience of the first week of being an engaged person is this: surreal.   I definitely never thought I would get married (you can ask any of my friends, they will back me up on that), and I definitely never thought I would be getting married to Alex.  He is definitely everything I never knew I always wanted.  And I hate to say this, because I think it probably sounds awful, but I can only remember the proposal in bits and pieces.  I know what we did and what he said before it, and after it, but the actual proposal is a bit hazy.  Alex feels the same way; people ask him what he said and he can’t remember!  It’s like someone else’s life to both of us right now.

On top of the feeling that I’ve been removed from my body, there is the realization that one of my closest friends was dead-on balls accurate about one thing: people who are normally rational human beings can become totally crazy when you announce a wedding.  Demands get made that you didn’t see coming.  Things get blown out of proportion that you never would have thought were a big deal to someone.  And then there are the politics of weddings – the guest list, the budget, the wedding party.  And it’s only the first week!  Then there are the questions that have been asked, more than once, by many people, that I didn’t realize you have to be prepared to answer right away.  For example, many people have asked us if I cried when he proposed, or if he cried when he proposed.  To me this is weird, because I’m not really a crier and neither is Alex.  Were we supposed to cry?  Is there something wrong with us because we didn’t?  Obviously this is not as strange a question as I think it is because many people have asked it, but it sure threw me off!  I’ve also been asked many times, in some cases the day after the proposal, if we’d set a date yet.  This one I understand, and it’s a logical question to ask a newly engaged couple, but still!  The other one that threw me off the first time I got it was whether or not I have decided on colors for the wedding.  Again, now that I’ve gotten the question a bunch of times and thought about the reasons, I understand this question.  But it’s pretty overwhelming at first!  (Actually, everything is overwhelming at first…)

And then we come to the ring.  I love my ring.  It’s beautiful and I am so proud of the way Alex put it together.  I expected people to want to see it.  I expected myself to look at it a lot.  I did NOT expect that I would be as paranoid as I am about having something happen to it.  Some things are obvious, like don’t wear it if you’re cleaning or doing loads of dishes.  Other things I struggled with at first, and am still struggling with, like hand washing, and showering, and sleeping with it on.  I work in a lab, and it never once occurred to me before I was engaged that you have to decide whether or not you want to wear your ring at work, because lab gloves don’t exactly fit over the ring.  I wear mine, and got bigger gloves, for the record.

So my general impression of being engaged, a little over one week in, is that it’s a lot to take in, and I still haven’t fully absorbed it all!

If you want to read Whitney’s take on her first week of being engaged, you can read it here.

Forty-Two

Welcome to another installment of what Whitney and I are calling ‘collective blogging.’ To refresh everyone’s memory, we will both be writing blog entries on the same topic every week as an exercise to see how different our thought processes and memories are. Hopefully it will be good practice for an idea we have for NaNoWriMo 2009 – to write the same novel, but separately.

Today’s topic: What is the meaning of life?
To be honest, my initial response to this topic was to give a joke answer and tell all my readers that the meaning of life was 42.  If you have never read The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams, you probably don’t know why 42 would be considered an answer to this particular question, nor do you follow why it’s a joke answer.  I recommend reading the books because they are fabulous, but in case you aren’t going to I will sum up why 42 would come to mind: a race of highly advanced beings in HGG create a machine to answer this very question – oh, and the machine is Earth.  The machine (Earth) is about to render its answer (42) to the question (what is the meaning of life, the universe, and everything) when it is destroyed by hateful Vogons.  Like I said, you should really read the books.

Obviously this question – what is the meaning of life – is a philosophical question for which there is no “right” answer.  Furthermore, it seems to me that you might need to define what life is to even begin to discuss what its meaning is.  The scientific definition of life is still a debated topic, and being that this is more of a philosophical question anyway, I will assume that to answer it there may be more importance in defining consciousness and self-awareness than in defining what is and is not alive.  I’m not sure I can define either of those things, but I will say I feel sure humans are both conscious beings and self-aware, and therefore alive and justified in asking the question, ‘what is the meaning of life?’

This question can also be a problem if you believe life exists anywhere else in the universe – another hotly debated issue that I will not delve into here, except to say I believe it probably does.  Carl Sagan explained the rationale for why I believe that better than I ever will:

“Who are we? We find that we live on an insignificant planet of a humdrum star lost in a galaxy tucked away in some forgotten corner of a universe in which there are far more galaxies than people.” ~ Carl Sagan

If we are alone in the universe, then life is precious and therefore meaningful.  But if we aren’t alone, what we do here might be tiny and insignificant in the theater of the universe.  For anyone that looks up and thinks we might not be alone, that thought makes the question of the meaning of life rather esoteric.

This is why the joke answer of 42 would have been a much easier way to go with this topic!

I figure that all science and philosophy aside, humans pretty much want to feel like we matter, and that there is meaning to life.  The ultimate answer to life, the universe, and everything may not be something we – the living humans on planet Earth – are meant to know.  I also figure that even if we don’t matter a whole lot to the universe, we matter quite a bit to the people in our lives.  Interpersonal relationships, the people we choose to let in, that we love, they are what give meaning to life.  We profoundly effect more lives than we probably realize.  I know a little bit about this – I recently lost someone who I did not realize touched me as much as he did until he wasn’t here anymore.  So I don’t think the meaning of life is about having the highest paying job, or being the most famous you can possibly be.  I think the meaning of life is to leave gentle footprints on the people who will remember we lived.

Although, I do still leave room for the meaning of life to turn out to be 42.  You never know.

If you want to read Whitney’s take on the meaning of life, you can read it here.

Explanations and Such

Welcome to another installment of what Whitney and I are calling ‘collective blogging.’ To refresh everyone’s memory, we will both be writing blog entries on the same topic every week as an exercise to see how different our thought processes and memories are. Hopefully it will be good practice for an idea we have for NaNoWriMo 2009 – to write the same novel, but separately.

Today’s Topic: Explanations of Mutual Items on Our Bucket Lists

If you read my blog and Whitney’s blog last week, you know that we both posted lists of 75 things we’d each like to do before we ‘kick the bucket.’  If you read the two lists closely, you may have noticed that as good friends as we are, Whitney and I had few mutual life goals.  In keeping with the spirit of collective blogging, I will now explain my reasons for including the items that appeared on her list as well as mine.  If you go here, you will see that Whitney has done the same thing.

Item #3: Publish a book. 

For me, this was one of the most obvious goals to have in life.  I suspect that many people list being a published author as a goal when they are making lists like this, but most of them never pursue it.  Not me.  I’m pursuing it.  I have Whitney to thank for that, because she talked me into participating in NaNoWriMo 2007.  I’ve always liked to write, and from what I’ve been told over the years, I’m better than average at it.  “A writer,” was my standard answer to the question, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” from the age of 6 until the age of 15 – at which point it switched to wanting to be the first female President of the United States, which is really a whole separate blog.  Publishing a book would not only fulfill a dream I’ve had since childhood, it would also validate my participation in the craziness that is NaNoWriMo.  Besides, being able to say, “I’m a published author,” is just cool.

Item # 71: Set foot in all 50 states.

The United States is so incredibly diverse in terms of natural beauty, weather, and culture that I believe it might take a lifetime to see everything this country has to offer.  Because of that, I have had to narrow down the specific places in the U.S. that I would like to spend any length of time visiting.  However, I still want to one day say I have at the very least passed through all 50 states.  It just strikes me as something every American should do.  How can you truly appreciate international locations if you can’t appreciate domestic ones?  (For the record, so far I have been in 16 out of 50 states, plus Washington, DC and Puerto Rico.)

Item # 51: See the pyramids in Egypt.

OK, doesn’t everyone want to see the pyramids, at least in theory?  They are almost mythical (mummies, treasure), and yet they are tangible, you can see them if you really want to.  Moreover, one of the pyramids at Giza is the only member of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World still in existence.  There is incredible history locked in the pyramids in Egypt.  And if those aren’t enough reasons for me to want to go, here is another: for a month at age 9, I was convinced that I was reincarnated from an ancient Egyptian girl.  I didn’t know which one, but I was sure of it.  Then it was explained to me that I was Catholic and not supposed to believe in reincarnation, and I decided I was probably wrong about my connection to ancient Egypt.  But it has held a special place in my heart since then, so if one day it becomes possible to travel to Egypt, I would certainly go!

Item # 45: Take an Alaskan cruise and walk on a glacier.

This is a new life goal for me.  I traditionally avoid going anywhere that is colder than the climate I live in.  Alaska definitely qualifies as a place I would never go, if using that criterion.  However, glaciers are awesome.  They shape valleys and mountains, and change landscapes.  They are beautiful, but can be dangerous. Many have been around longer than people.  So, I think it would be quite satisfying to be able to say, “Yeah, I’ve walked on a glacier.”  Alaska would be a fantastic place to accomplish this, since there are glaciers there, and because Alaska itself is pretty cool.  It represents an untouched area of the planet (in some spots), and is not likely to remain that way.  Anything that isn’t predicted to be unspoiled forever rates a trip in my book.

Item # 20, 24, 25, 27, 41, 43, 57: Travel to Italy

I had to list so many items because I want to see ALL of Italy.  There are even some places I didn’t list on my bucket list that I want to see.  For example, I would love to go to the Amalfi Coast and Capri, but I didn’t mention that before.  My reasons for wanting to see Italy are twofold.  First, I’m 1/2 Italian, and we know which towns in Italy our family came from.  It would be amazing to see those towns and know my ancestors might have walked in the same places – goosebump-inducing, really.  Second, Italy is one of those places with so much history and culture and culinary experience that I honestly can’t understand how there can be people who don’t get jacked to go there.  Lucky for me, I’m only 6 months away from making at least a small part of this goal a reality, because I am traveling to Florence, Italy and the surrounding region of Tuscany (and maybe a day trip somewhere else – who knows?!).  Sweet!

 

 

 

 

75 Things

Welcome to another installment of what Whitney and I are calling ‘collective blogging.’ To refresh everyone’s memory, we will both be writing blog entries on the same topic every Friday as a sort-of exercise to see how different our thought processes and memories are. Hopefully it will be good practice for an idea we have for NaNoWriMo 2009 – to write the same novel, but separately.

Today’s topic: My Bucket List

I have never seen the movie Bucket List, starring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman.  I hear it’s pretty good.  It also seems to have sparked a trend in pop culture where people make lists for themselves detailing all the things they want to do before they “kick the bucket.”  There is even a website to help you develop your list: Superviva.com.  I’ve actually mentioned this website on my blog before (here), and while I am not a huge fan of the website, it makes my point – a lot of people are thinking about this.

So when Whitney suggested we take a page from a blog she follows and post our own lists as one of our collective blogs, I said sure.  So, here it is - 75 Things I Want to Do Before I Die:

Please note: If something on this list has already been accomplished, I have made it bold.  If it is in the process of being accomplished, I have made it italicized.

1. Star-gaze in the Arizona desert.
2. Drive the Pacific Coast Highway.
3. Publish a book.
4. Cruise the Mediterranean.
5. Go camping.
6. Go to New Orleans.
7. Get married.
8. See Aruba or Antigua (or both).
9. Give birth to a child without using heavy-duty pain medication.
10. Snorkel in Grand Cayman.
11. Drive across the country.
12. Dive between tectonic plates in Iceland.
13. Read every major work of classical literature.
14. Travel to Australia.
15. Be able to do yoga without the aid of  a DVD or instructor.
16. Take a wine tour of Long Island.
17. Become fluent in another language.
18. See Scandinavia.
19. Take my family to Disney World.
20. Go to Terlizzi, Italy.
21. Own a successful side business.
22. Go to Paris.
23. Participate in the CDC or some other major health agency.
24. Go to Rome.
25. Go to Venice.
26. Learn to scuba dive.
27. Go to Tuscany.
28. Have a vacation or weekend home on a beach.
29. Go to Greece.
30. Learn about art.
31. Go to London.
32. Go to the Metropolitan Museum of Art.
33. Visit the Seychelles Islands.
34. See the Statue of Liberty.
35. Go to Moorea.
36. Learn to line dance.
37. Visit Hawaii’s Big Island and see the volcanoes.
38. Run 5 miles without stopping.
39. Go to Barcelona.
40. Knit a sweater.
41. See the Italian Riviera.
42. Host a holiday for my entire family.
43. Travel to Sicily and its islands.
44. Fly a kite.
45. Take an Alaskan cruise and walk on a glacier.
46. Grow an herb garden.
47. Take a cruise or tour of Antarctica.
48. Hike below the rim of the Grand Canyon.
49. Travel to the Galapagos.
50. Buy a home.
51. See  the pyramids in Egypt.
52. Cruise all the major rivers of the world.
53. See the Aurora Borealis.
54. Go to Tahiti.
55. Get a Masters degree.
56. Look at Pluto through a telescope.
57. Go to Pompeii.
58. Work as a microbiologist in a non-academic research lab.
59. Take a picture of the Andromeda galaxy.
60. Travel to outer space.
61. Attend a World Series game (preferably one in which the Yankees are playing.)
62. Attend a Super Bowl game.
63. Go on an African safari.
64. Trace my family’s heritage as far back as possible.
65. Get a PhD.
66. See my children graduate from college.
67. Celebrate my 50th wedding anniversary.
68. Participate in finding the cure for at least one incurable disease.
69. Go to Ekaterinburg, Russia.
70. Go to Germany.
71. Set foot in all 50 states.
72. Own a real Prada bag.
73. Have a saltwater aquarium.
74. Be featured in the local paper for playing a sport.
75. Look at Ebola through a microscope.

I know these lists are supposed to contain 100 things, but I didn’t want my list to become frivolous or meaningless just so I could reach 100.  If I ever add on to my list, I will certainly post the additions!  To see Whitney’s list, go here.

For a Friend

Before I started the job I have now, I worked for OptiCare for several years.  While I loathed that job, I met a lot of fantastic people as a result of working there.  One of those people passed away suddenly last Thursday: Rod Smith.

Rod was the lead optician in the office I worked in – he and I were basically partners.  He was a good person, and his death is shocking.  I’m having trouble finding the proper words to memorialize the Rod I knew, so I am hopeful the link to his obituary listed above is at least adequate.

Admission

I have a confession to make.

For most of my twenties, I have been guilty of making snap judgements. I would have a gut reaction or instinct about a person or an object or a place or a toothpick and that would be how I felt about it without question. And once I knew what I thought about something, I was highly unlikely to change my mind.
Call it immaturity, or whatever you will.

Over the last year I have had reason to re-evaluate my position on a few things I had made these “snap-judgements” on during my adult life. One such item is yoga. Anyone who knows me might find this hard to believe, because I do yoga. That was not always the case – quite the opposite. I used to think yoga was the dumbest thing a person could do to “exercise.” (Yes, I put it in quotes on purpose, because I didn’t think it actually was exercise.) All the chanting of breathe, and ‘om,’ and the talk of chakras and growing roots into the earth just seemed silly to me. So I wouldn’t try it. Actually, once I tried a class at my gym, and I hurt myself, and that just re-affirmed my belief that yoga is dumb.
Then I got this thing in my head where I wanted to try pilates. I had done it before, and thought that was stupid, too, but one of my friends was taking a class at her gym that involved yoga and pilates and she liked it, so I thought perhaps it was time to give pilates another chance – after all, loads of hard-bodied celebs claim pilates is responsible for their physique, right? The pilates practice I chose came with 2 DVDs for pilates and 2 for yoga. Ever-skeptical, I begrudgingly tried the yoga DVD, still sure it wasn’t for me (the world’s least flexible person). So how shocked was I when I found that not only could I do the yoga practice on the beginners’ DVD, but I actually enjoyed it?
Pretty shocked. But in a nice way. Yoga rocks. Even on really crappy days, if I do yoga I feel better about life. Maybe it’s the plinky-plunky music, or the stretching of muscles I didn’t know I had that really did need to get stretched, or the feeling that no one else exists for that hour. I’m not sure. But it rocks.

And so I want the world to know: I was wrong about yoga.

Ironic Guilt

Does anyone else ever feel like they aren’t spending as much time as they should with their family?

I know that seems like a very open-ended question. In the past couple of weeks, I have been feeling guilty that I don’t see my grandfather or grandmother often enough, and that I don’t get to spend enough quality time with my mom and dad. Both my remaining grandparents are getting older and it seems to me that they have a lot of wisdom they could still give. But it is so hard to see them because of my schedule and all the other crap I am doing lately. The same with my parents… I know they aren’t old but they are getting older and I’m starting to realize they aren’t going to be here forever, either.

It bums me out that I spent the first part of my life wanting to get away from family because they weren’t “cool” and now that there isn’t much time to spend with them, they seem like the coolest people ever.